Those Aren’t Fighting Words, Dear (NY Times)

Christopher Silas Neal (NYT)

“Let’s say you have what you believe to be a healthy marriage. You’re still friends and lovers after spending more than half of your lives together. The dreams you set out to achieve in your 20s — gazing into each other’s eyes in candlelit city bistros when you were single and skinny — have for the most part come true.

Two decades later you have the 20 acres of land, the farmhouse, the children, the dogs and horses. You’re the parents you said you would be, full of love and guidance. You’ve done it all: Disneyland, camping, Hawaii, Mexico, city living, stargazing.

Sure, you have your marital issues, but on the whole you feel so self-satisfied about how things have worked out that you would never, in your wildest nightmares, think you would hear these words from your husband one fine summer day: ‘I don’t love you anymore. I’m not sure I ever did. I’m moving out. The kids will understand. They’ll want me to be happy.’

But wait. This isn’t the divorce story you think it is. Neither is it a begging-him-to-stay story. It’s a story about hearing your husband say ‘I don’t love you anymore’ and deciding not to believe him. And what can happen as a result.”

READ THE REST of this New York Times article and find out what happens>>>



  • The Third Option – classes specially designed to help couples rediscover love in a safe, confidential environment.
  • Book: This is not the story you think it is…, by Laura A. Munson. A completed version of the story behind the New York Times essay Those Aren’t Fighting Words, Dear and Laura Munson’s commitment to the “end of suffering.”
  • The Walk-Away Wife Syndrome by Michele Weiner-Davis. Over one million marriages that will end in divorce this year, two thirds to three quarters of those divorces will be filed for by women? What is this so-called, “Walk-away Wife” syndrome all about?


WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU (Comment below):

Have you ever been told by your spouse they “don’t love you anymore?” Have you said it to your spouse? Were you able to find the love you lost? What happened?

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