In a Sonoma Valley Sun article, “The ecology of marriage,” Dr. Jeffrey Low has several recommendations to “keep (your) relationship loving and healthy.” He gives some daily, monthly and yearly things you can do to keep your relationship alive.
Daily – It takes just fifteen minutes a day to maintain the connection between two people. This is not just some random number, but the result of scientific studies demonstrating that if two people spend fifteen minutes in close connection, the electronic signatures of their hearts begin to match. If they do this on a daily basis, their heart signatures will remain the same even if they are separated by hundreds of miles.
Monthly – Couples who have been together for a while, especially those with children, forget the importance of extended time together. Taking at least one day per month for just the two of you can make a big difference in your closeness level the rest of the month. This is like when you were dating. Make a plan, do something special, or just go for a drive, the point is to spend the day with just the two of you.
Yearly – Do a minimum two-night marriage retreat each year. Like the year-end meeting of a business, this is a time to examine what’s working in your marriage and what is not. What have you learned about yourself, your partner, and your marriage during the year? What would you like to work on individually and together to improve your marriage in the year to come? Be honest both about your successes and shortcomings. Talk and connect during these three days so that you return to your daily life with renewed senses of love, commitment and discovery about your relationship.
If you’ve never done anything like this, and are not sure how, you could take a marriage class together as a substitute. The California Healthy Marriage Coalition is a great resource that lists many groups offering marriage weekends.
Check out the full article in the Sonoma Valley Sun.
NEXT STEPS FROM HRC
- Read World Class Marriage – How to Have the Relationship You Always Wanted with the Partner You Already Have
- Check out these couple conversation starters at XO site