They state that communicating in marriage is all about being able to handle the message.
When two people are able to handle the message, honesty increases. And when honesty in a relationship increases, you grow more as an individual and closer together. And through this growth you are capable of reaching new levels of passion and intimacy.
Here are three ways they suggest to better communicate:
- Speak Up - We cannot assume our partners know how we feel or can read our minds. Saying how we feel or what we think in a loving (and not attacking) way is a great way to begin successful communication.
- Make the obvious, obvious - Instead of ignoring the fact you are in a bad mood, simply say it. “Honey, right now I feel overwhelmed and irritated. Can I have five minutes by myself?”
- Grow Up – Realizing that being an adult is no fun sometimes, marriage takes work, and you don’t always get your way are three huge steps in becoming an adult and therefore acting like an adult. “Kicking and screaming into adulthood”, as the author puts it, is only going to make things worse.